MYCELIUM (originally published in 2021 as part of the short run zine 'Endocrine Wolf and Other Stories.')

 

MYCELIUM

I. 

Buried beneath root and rock, moss and decaying leaves, that which was, now lies within the embraced of the womb of the Earth.

Dead, but dreaming still, its consciousness dispersed, traveling along the neuronal fibres of the mycorrhizal network of the forest.

At one with the forest, no longer a single focussed point, but returning to the undulating sea of the great multiplicity, the great whole, comprised of many.

What was once wolf realises the nature of itself as an expression of the great All, a wave upon the ocean of being, a pinhole of light amongst infinite others, within the dark canvass of absolute void.

The bones of this once tortured beast are consumed by the roots within its earthen tomb. In a half-life, it was transformed into a thing unknown to the natural mother, Gaia. Forced into contorted disfigurement by grief, vengeance and anger, now released from its corporeal prison and returned to the bosom of its primal mother.

What was once wolf, is no more. Its weary carcass laid to rest beneath the forest, slowly unwinding and becoming one with the dark, rich soil.

II.

A rebellious innocent, idealistic and pure of heart runs beyond the barriers under cover of night. Sabotage, a mission to disarm the steel-jawed harbingers of the dead world, come to raze the forest and entomb its fertile soils in dull concrete.

Like a mouse, this agent of compassionate rebellion sneaks amongst the slumbering beasts of steel, quietly disabling them, hoping they will rust where they stand.

A torch beam cuts the inky dark of the night and gruff shouts follow. Our saboteur is discovered. Startled, but not panicked, the trickster runs off into the dark shelter of the forest. Nimble feet dodge the roots and rocks, weaving between branches and grasping foliage.

Unseen, ahead there is a drop away to a rocky gulley. Looking back over fleeing shoulders, the rebel smiles at the slowly dwindling torch light. The guardians of the metal beasts have fallen behind, caught amongst the sprawling undergrowth. The lapse in concentration proves fatal, too late the rebel sees the edge. A foot falls upon thin air and head-over-heels, tumbles over the unseen edge.

Blood. It trickles into the earth, seeping down to where the brittle bones of what-was-once-wolf, rest. Contact with the vital essence of this innocent rebel, spark an awakening. The diffuse expanding consciousness is refocussed and pulls back to a singular point.

III.

In the dark, two are present.

“Where is this place?”

“This is nowhere. A liminal space between.”

“I can’t feel anything.”

“There is nothing to feel, your body lies above us broken and spent. You are consciousness alone, held within the field of the mycorrhizal network.”

“I’m dead?”

“In a corporeal sense, yes, but that which in you is eternal, will remain. For now, it is focussed, carrying the echoes of the consciousness your human form possessed, but in time that will dissipate, returning to be part of the great oceanic oneness.”

“Who, or what are you? Are you here to usher me across the threshold?”

“I was once wolf, but no longer. My physical form lies here decaying beneath the forest, my constituent parts spreading out and joining with other emerging forms of life. My focussed consciousness was all but surrendered unto the great All. Your blood called me back. I am no ferryman, no lurker at the gate, just a fellow traveller through the cycle. What happened to you?”

“I was by myself. I had come to try and sabotage the diggers; they were going to start uprooting the trees to make way for a new development.”

“The forest is under threat? I have felt the death of many trees at the boundary where the forest meets the dead world of the humans. Over the years I felt the choking millstone tighten about this remaining oasis of life.”

“They plan to cut a road right through the forest, which will inevitably bring further development. I was part of a group that hoped to put a stop to it. Peaceful protest only got us so far, so I felt more drastic measures were needed. It seems I have martyred myself unintentionally. Perhaps my body won't be found here, and I’ll be left to be absorbed back into the forest that I gave my life for.”

“It was a noble cause and I’m sorry that you are no longer in a position to fight for it, but perhaps your death is not for nothing, as you have revived me. I had vowed to remain as a guardian, to keep watch over the humans.”

“How did that come to be?”

“I was once a wolf, but my pack fell to the humans as we competed for territory. I fled to the mountains and there fed upon the flesh and grey matter of a human attacker. From that point I found I could assume an anthropoid form - the change was irreversible, and I needed more human matter to sustain my being. I attained a state akin to immortality, as long as I continued to feed upon human matter. As I changed, so my awareness changed also. I came to understand the humans in greater depth. I came to feel empathy for them and could only take of the sick and dying. Their compromised matter became my compromised matter and I shuffled through existence as a revenant, a living corpse, no longer wolf and certainly not human. I heard of tribes of humans who lived in harmony with nature and travelled to be with them. They taught me to heal and sustain myself making use of plant medicines. I lived with them as family for generations. Over time, the young of the tribe were tempted away to the dead world of their civilised kin. Soon, the tribe was made up of only the remaining elders, who remembered the old ways. Their time passed and they were reunited with the great All, laying their bones beneath the trees. With no company, I too lay myself to rest beneath the trees. No-one called me up again, so the years of composted plant matter built up upon me and the mycelium crept into my form, broke it down to my bones, which were embraced by the roots. What remains of me lies here where you fell to your death, smashed upon these jagged rocks.”

“You began your life as a wolf and became something other, seeking revenge upon humanity for its crimes against your species? I’m sorry that you have suffered so much loss and pain across your existence. You must have walked the Earth for such a long time?”

“It is said time is relative; but yes, I was born a wolf in the time when humanity began to farm the land and form small settlements. I feel that my being has spawned legends amongst the humans - that which explained away and helped them find meaning in death and disease. Now considered a fairy tale, I was a spectre that haunted the night and devoured the weak of the herd. An apex predator by nature; what was inborn would not change.”

“I have heard such tales and feared for myself in the dead of night when I was younger. As I grew older, my fears became focussed upon the destruction and death of the natural world. You said my death may not have been in vain?”

“Yes, I believe so. I had vowed to be a guardian of this world, coming to understand vengeance was an empty reason to exist. This sacred place is under threat, so there is work for me to do. You have been the messenger that brought the message to me. Thank you for your sacrifice and for calling me back to my duty. I am deeply sorry that you have been cost so dearly.”

“Thank you. I have the sense I should feel a sadness for the loss of my life, but I feel very little, only a desire to move towards the great All. Can I be of any further help to you? What is it you plan to do?”

“I am of the forest now; my consciousness is entwined with the physical and spiritual matter/energy of the life that lives here and is connected by the mycorrhizal network. Perhaps I can focus and encourage my companions here to rise up and defend themselves.”

“You mean you could make the trees come alive and walk?”

“Ah, but they are already alive. Perhaps not walk, there is however a huge generative force that is the ground of all Being. With focus, perhaps we can encourage new life to grow; to ensnare and enshroud these machines of destruction that you had started to disable.”

“I am eager to continue what I started, to remove the threat to the forest, what must I do to be of help?”

“Be with me. Lend your energy to the forest, together, we can call upon the great network of life here and encourage it to surge.”

“I am willing, but what will that mean for us to join in such a way?”

“I don’t know... To connect deeply with the great energy network of the forest, will perhaps mean we will not be able to return to this liminal space of focus, but all things must pass and there is liberation in that unity.”

“I am ready.”
“Focus upon your love for all that is green, let it radiate outwards.”

IV.

The sun rises upon shattered husks of twisted metal, choked with a bounty of new life and growth. Vines, creepers and saplings weave themselves between contorted metal struts. Blooms spout from metal tubing and lichen drips from steel sheets.

Concrete has cracked and erupted in tufts of greenery and strong roots have cracked the mausoleum cold slabs from below.

The forest lives and claims some space back from the dead world and the innocent rebel and what was once wolf, merge with the All that is beyond, transformed through their act of defiance.

Copyright © 2023 S.J. Bloxsidge